1. Recognize the signs and scake of deception
The first step in dealing with people who are lying is to recognize the deception. There are a few different ways you can figure out if someone is lying or not. One of which is to check if what they say and what they do are aligned. Is that consistent? Get feedback from otothers to see if they are experiencing the same as you or if what they are experiencing aligns with the person who is lying or perceived to be lying. Gather evidence so if someone has stole from you for example and you see them with that item then that would confirm they have stolen. Explore all other avenues first before coming to any other conclusions.
2. Build rapport and empathy
It's critical to build rapport and empathy with the person to gain their trust and show that you understand their perspective. Show that you are listening to them, and seek to understand their point of view. Use phrases like "I understand," "That makes sense," and "I can see why you feel that way."
3. Use open-ended questions
Open-ended questions are powerful tools in uncovering information. By asking open-ended questions, you allow the person to provide more detail, and this gives you a better chance of finding any inconsistencies. For instance, instead of asking "Did you steal the money?", ask questions like "Can you tell me how you came into possession of the money?"
4. Remain calm and composed
It's essential to remain calm and composed when dealing with someone who is lying. If you lose your cool, you can escalate the situation and cause the person to become even more hostile or defensive. Take deep breaths, listen attentively and speak in a low, measured tone.
5. Watch your body language
Not only should you focus on the persons body language, but you should also control your own. The way you hold yourself can affect how the person perceives you and can influence their willingness to tell the truth. Avoid showing signs of aggression.
6. Use mirroring and labeling
Mirroring can be an effective technique for gaining someone's trust and generating empathy. By matching their tone of voice, body language, and language choices, you can create a sense of understanding and trust. Labeling is another technique that involves accurately labeling the other person's feelings. Mirroring and labeling help to build a connection, which means the person is more likely to be honest with you.
In conclusion, dealing with people who are lying is not an easy task, but with these tips, you can improve your chances of getting to the truth. Remember to build rapport, remain calm, ask open-ended questions, and pay attention to body language and verbal cues. With practice, you can become a master at detecting deception and getting to the heart of the matter.
This is a peak at one of the classes on "Mastering the art of" which is an online course that helps you develop skills that I have developed over the years working in high-stakes situations both in business negotiations, my personal life, and as a coach. These skills have not only improved my overall health and wellbeing but they have helped me make advancements in my career giving me higher earning potential and a wider scope for opportunity.
I used to get panicky and defensive when people would be deceptive towards me but now I find it kind of fun because I am completely aware of the methods of deception that someone might use and when they are using it whether it be distortion tactics or gas lighting methods. Being armed with this type of knowledge makes something that was once a difficulty just as fun as sparring practice. If you like sparring that is.
(Disclaimer-this is in the context of if someone is trying to deceive you by stealing or misleading you into a situation that does not serve your best interests. These methods should not be used in a professional context when working with children or anyone who is considered as vulnerable as there can be other factors to consider when working under these circumstances.)

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